i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
