Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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