he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's just like the Real World with babies
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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