he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
