I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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