Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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