I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
