don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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