i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
