I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
