the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
