She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
