It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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