We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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