i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i will never coherently bang her
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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