Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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