what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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