You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
