My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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