I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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