Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
