Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
