we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I party with great urgency now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
