Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So vagazzling was a success
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize