mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
