highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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