I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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