Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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