I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
