Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
