It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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