I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize