So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
