It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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