Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
