Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
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he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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