If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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