all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
