so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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