i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
