For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
