I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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