Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize