I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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