Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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