I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
