You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
