Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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