direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize