So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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