I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
