i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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