Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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