I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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