Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
