I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
