I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
