you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
