real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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