Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
