I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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