oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize