I wish i was in the wii world.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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