I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize