sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
